Wednesday 31 May 2017

Summer is at hand, so is swindle! Amber Ale, Pirkan Parhaat [!!!] by Saimaan Juomatehdas


Muddy stuff, 4,7% ABV. Brewery declares on the can, as usual, a fine bunch of super-fragrant hops: Columbus, Cascade, Citra, Chinook, Mosaic. Upon opening, however, instead of the fragrant hoppiness one might expect, we get a glass of terrible, stale-cardboardy rubbish; damned swindle!

What is most amazing here, is the skill with which the brewery pigheadedly turns fine ingredients declared on the outer of the can into miserable & undrinkable crap inside, consistently from year to year, summer to summer, all over again!


If I were the CEO of the brewery in question, I certainly would have flushed myself down the same toilet together with the produce.



Friday 26 May 2017

Honkavuoren Valo, Vehnäolut


Hazy, self-proclaimed Wheat Beer, 4,5% ABV. Aroma is clean but hopelessly impotent. Taste is disagreeably thick-syrupy. In the blogger's notion this stuff is a stuck fermentation rather than beer, i.e. closer to bottled wort. Hence elevating the degree of fermentation here could well come up with decent Wheat Beer...


What a day! One drinkable out of four; telltale score revealing the miserable level of culture and craftsmanship of the ongoing craft brewing boom in our northern backwoods.

Suomi Neito, Golden Ale


Yeasty-hazy, watery stuff, 4,7% ABV. Lacking absolutely all the attributes of decent beer; It would probably be absurd to cite any list here. Calling this futile rubbish Golden Ale, or furthermore beer, causes the blogger's blood pressure to rocket up to ionospheric levels. Certainly this liquid is fermented wort, surprisingly, free of microbial contamination [!], and, character; just one more non-beer, I'm sad to say so.


Kaski, Kylmäsavulager


Semiclear stuff, 4,6% ABV. Repugnantly moldy stench right upon pouring transforms into stale and dubiously phony smokiness. Terrible echo again from the chamber of craft beer horrors of the 1990's.

Can't figure out how and why this non-beer has been released in the first place. Could it be blatantly either the lack of culture, wit or judgement alone or furthermore some combination of those constituents of the pretty little thing we call craftsmanship...


Sonnisaari Pils, Dry Hopped


Semiclear beer, 4,7% ABV, hops used are Magnum and Hallertauer Mittelfrüh. Has immaculately clean and appetizingly fresh,teasingly thirst-arousing aroma exactly in the textbook manner any genuine Pilsner simply has got to bear; absolutely no more futile trash talk required.

Taste honestly and flawlessly fulfills the aforementioned expectations with long-lingering delicious bitterness. I, the blogger, as an inveterate Pilsner-fanatic, certainly wouldn't mind an increase of a few more EBUs; furthermore, elevating the ABV to the range anything between 5,2% & 5,5% would quite obviously promote this brew to the world class of its style, the most challenging and uncompromising one among all beers.

Definitely a telltale proof of high-level craftsmanship and overall command of the brewing process.